Howdo fellow earthlingers!

Warning: the first part of this journal contains heavy moanage, don't wanna read it, please leave now

Yehhhh...sheesh, life and it's barstuard twists and turns. You think you've got got some aspect of your life planned and something wacks you pow right in the kisser. The deal is this - as you know (if you've read past journals) Katie was gushing with happiness as she was accepted onto a Foundation in Photography and Digital Design course at Blackpool. And as the fees have risen substantially this year (just my luck) I decided I should go down the route (again, I got one for my graphics degree) of applying for a student loan. Thought nothing of it, i'd get it fine and dandy until I phone to check the progress of the application and find no. It's not. You are not allowed a second loan for a second degree otherwise and i quote "people could cruise along and be a student forever sponging off the government" Hello?! Do you really think given the choice i want to get into another fifteen grand of debt?! I think not. Buffoons. I considered the option of working a job many hours along side the course to find that you have to pay fees up front now. What is the freaking government trying to do to us? *shakes head* I mean oh! these poor members of parliament - they're not allowed to buy their home goods from John Lewis anymore (out of tax payer's money) for their second home. Boo. Hoo. So yes, apologies I digress. Bottom line - Katie ain't going to college because she's poor. I'm pretty much damn confused right now...don't feel like I fit anywhere or know what my purpose in life is Yes, I know mostly what I want to do but it's how the hell to get there. Ultimately I want to be a photographer...what kind of photographer, nobody knows I'd just like to get my foot in the door. I don't feel I can jump right into a freelance role that scares the shit out of me...I don't have any industrial experience let alone know the ins and outs of my camera. Sure I might have 'the eye' but what's the eye when you have no industrial experience. Places won't take you on when you have no experience. How the hell am I going to get experience if nowhere will give me any? Gimmee a break! I can't exactly say 'but...but i've got experience taking photos of my cats.' Yes. Impressive. This is a small town with shit all going on. Creative jobs are close to zilch. It would be good if I could afford to relocate, get a place on my own and get a good job but hello? The state of accommodation pricing is phenomenal let alone the power and food bills to go with it. I do apologies for this long rant but I do feel somehow better after it. For a little while anyway I don't know, I think I need to sit down and re-think my goals and how to get there. If I can.

Shit, I need some cheering up and i'm sure you do if you've sat and suffered through reading that Rather than living in this black and white world of mine I thought i'd do a colourful feature. Check out these artists, they're amazing...